SORRY!

There was some sort of mix up on my part.  "Addicted to food" did not premier the other night.  I believe it starts next week.

falling off the wagon...

I am falling off the wagon!  I am sure from my past blog entries, you are not at all surprised.  I am not.  I am trying to do the old weight loss program but do not have many resources to keep an accurate count of points and such.

I have let loose and let my hair down these past few days.  I have not exercised because of my schedule and I am a little bit out of control.

I also know that there are moments like this.  Days like this happen and that is all part of the process.  Trust the process.  Drink my water.  Write down my points....my old points.

Tonight I will be watching the new show "Addicted to Food".  I am certain I fall under this category.  I will give you details and proof of this in tomorrows post.

When it rains...

...it pours.  This week was a little hectic.  It seems like everything always happens at one time.  I could be sitting at home twiddleing my thumbs and my phone doesn't ring, then all of a sudden, everything happens at once.  I'm not complaining though, I just wonder why that is.

This week was one of those weeks.  Jose has been on spring break and that has been so great to have him around the house giving us flexibility with so many things we juggle when he is working.  This week I had 3 photo shoots, a photo consultation, photo bookings, Jose's birthday, Ava got the flu (or something and still is not 100%) and break ends tomorrow.

Let's start with the photo shoots..absolutely so much fun!  3 little babies...two who are just about or just past 8 months old and one who was 7 weeks.  The 7 week old was so nerve wracking.  It was for a friend of mine who I went to photography school with.  She was the speaker at our graduation and a very talented photographer.  She had contacted me to take photos of her when she was pregnant, but for one reason or another, we could never get together due to schedules and distance since she lives an hour away.  When she had the baby she contacted me again to take her daughters photos.  "WHY?" I said...normally, I do not ask such a question, but being who she was, I was very confused.  Since we graduated from school, she has taken a different path.  She is now a baker...and a good one at that.  This past year she was on the show "Top Chef/Baking Edition".  The photo equipment that she owns is a 4x5 and film cameras.  Since photography equipment is so expensive, she never upgraded since switching careers.  I was so flattered she chose me to take the photos.  She has a huge photo pool of photogs but liked my work.  It is a very huge compliment and one I welcomed.  You can see why I was nervous...I wanted to give her what she wanted, but I had to stay true to myself and my style...after all, that is who she hired.

On to Jose's birthday...I planned his birthday for a few weeks ahead.  I know a personal trainer who lives on our street.  I hired her for a training session for the two of us early in the morning on his birthday.  I totally surprised him and just handed him a card that said "put your work out clothes on and be ready at 9".  We walked across the street to the gym (my mom came to watch the kids...ava was home sick) and had a great workout.  He loved it!!  He never takes a work out class like I think women tend to do and he is totally self motivated.  This was refreshing and new for him and it was perfect.  He showered, changed and met me back at home where we went out for lunch, just the two of us.  We came home, hung out a bit, and I sent him on to his second surprise.  A massage.  If you know my husband, you know that those two things are what he loves most...next to me of course! LOL

He has a present that we are stilll waiting for in the mail that he does not know about...when it arrives, I will let you in on it.

On to Ava getting sick...ugh...poor Avie.  She came down with a fever on Wednesday and has had it off and on as of last night.  Today we are taking it easy and I need her to rest.

I am in my PJ's...hanging low today...blogging, editing, surfing, planning the week.

Enjoy your weekend...here are some photos from this week:

DOWN, down, down....

Going down anyone?  I did this week on my new "old" eating plan.  Glad to be back.  Looking forward to my traditional cheat night.  Enjoy people!!

Last minute fun

Yesterday I had two photo shoots.  Jose primarily took over as Mr. Mom (a role he is quite good and comfortable at) and I had so much fun taking photos.  I wish I could just leave my set up for the indoor stuff set up all the time and just take fun photos all day long.  As the day went on and I started editing the photos, I took a break.  It was around 4:30 and now it was going to be time to start dinner.  I was not motivated at all...what would I make, what would I give the kids...then the clean up...you get the idea.  I looked at Jose and said "what do you want to do...I want to get out of here".  I really did not want to go to a restaurant.  Sometimes Manny is not the best patron and then I would have to figure out how to make something that I really want to have on the menu, healthy.  It is a lot of planning and work.  Jose said back "let's go to Quincy".  So we did!

We took a spur of the moment last minute idea and ran with it.  It was not the best time for anyone...the kids would be hungry, it takes an hour to get there, and we still had to worry about dinner.

We went anyway.  I was excited to surprise my parents and knew they would love to see the kids just walk in the door.  I was right.  :-)   While I was there, I called my sister and asked what she was doing for dinner.  She invited us over and said my nephew (about to graduate cullenary school) was cooking.  Im in.

We picked up the kids and my mom and went over to my sisters.  My two nephews were home and my sisters husband who is normally at work had come home early.  We had so much fun.  We put on some fun music we had not listened to in a long time, had some wine, danced, played a little Mastermind (great fun game), and laughed and laughed.  I hated to leave.  My kids were wonderful.  They were not winey or bored.  They enjoyed every minute.  It was lively and it was something I needed.  We left around 8:00-8:30ish, which was very late for the kids and they fell asleep in the car.

The kids are pooped today, but I don't care.  We don't do it all the time and we need to LIVE our lives, enjoy our families, love our lives.

I will try to post some shots from the shoots.

In the meantime, check out this new song I just got from a friend who so kindly bought me an ipod running song list.  SO NICE!!  I am addicted to this song and feel like it is my anthem lately.

LIVE, LOVE, DANCE, LAUGH, ENJOY!

"Ali in the jungle" by The Hours

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxNX5M_XSeA

"What have you done today, to make you feel proud?"....

I love that song from the Biggest Loser.  I use it sometimes as an anthem.  I am using it today...and every day forward.

As you have (or may not have) read in my last posting, I have been quite frustrated with the weight loss plan I was using.  I have since switched to the old weight loss plan I used a long time ago that did work for me and that I was happy on.

This has been building up for a few weeks now.  Over this past weekend, everything became clear.  I was so frustrated and ended up feeling like crap yesterday.  I was exhausted and needed a mental break day.  As I laid on the couch and watched the Harry Potter movies with Ava, I was feeling defenseless.  But, also I knew that when it came down to it, I have it in me to succeed.  Ava knew me as a strong mom who was fit and healthy.  I was active and she knew me as a runner.  Now, she sees my tummy, sees me laying on the couch and hears me saying "I'm so exhausted".  (ok, here comes the strong language in our house)  I HATE that person.  That person is not me and I know it.  I pull myself up, go to my biggest resource...a VERY good friend who was with me through it the first time and has always been there for me along the way.   (I will call her Trixie...the name is fun and it makes me smile) I text Trixie, then call her.  We talk, we get our anger out, we validate, we support, and we laugh.  It is just what I need.  Thanks Trixie.

I am revived again.  I start the day with a new purpose and a new plan.  I am not exhausted.  I am not lazy. I am not in my pj's.  :-)

I am ready.  I am strong.  I am on my way......I feel proud.

Getting back up...

Not every day is a lovely day and not every day is all sparkly and magnificent.  I have been exercising and watching what I eat...on a weight loss plan.  The past couple of weeks I have been struggling, trying to keep my chin up about it.  I had a little mini-breakdown today about it.

Normally, you would never hear me share this information online.  I am getting it out though and letting it go.  Today I was defeated by my scale.  My spin/zumba/kickboxing classes in the past couple of weeks have done very little.  I have a long road ahead of me and need to get all these 85+ lbs off me a little at a time.  The scale today was no friend of mine.  It is so frustrating to think that I have been heavy for so very long and that every little morsel of food I eat has to be accounted for, free of fat/sugar/salt/anything that gives it substance.  Don't get me wrong, some of my favorite meals are healthy and I love eating my grilled chicken salads, but really?  You mean to tell me if I put a sprinkle of cheese on my enormous salad that I will not lose weight?  Ok, lets just make it a naked salad then right?  I will just eat lettuce.  C'mon.

So,  you see...here is where i am...mad.    the fact that I have to be so very careful and walk such a tightrope and work extra extra hard at this for little reward each week can be a very heavy load to bear.  I need to just get it out and put it out there in the universe so I can be rid of the bad feelings and thoughts and let them go.  I am getting back up, and staying the course.

I have incredible support from Jose.  Just amazing.  I cannot believe how much he loves and supports me.  Let's me complain and helps me stay focused.  He believes in me when I don't believe in myself.  These past couple of years were very difficult and trying on our marriage.  We were tested and at times I thought we would fail...he never did.  Every day my eyes are opened just a little bit wider to how lucky I am and what a wonderful life I have with him.

I am getting back up.  I thank you for letting me get out some ugly that was festering inside.

A Lovely Daaaayyy....

Sunday was a lovely day!  First let me back track and say that Friday night we had the priest from our church come over to our house to talk about having Manny baptized.  It was a surprisingly refreshing conversation about faith, our beliefs, and also what and why we want for him to be baptized.  There is more to elaborate on, but for now we will just say that I think we may end up doing a baptism/welcoming ceremony and we need to decide on how to do that.

So fast forward to Sunday.  We got up early (early with the time change) and headed for church.  It was the first time that we (me and Jose) were in complete synch with our feelings about attending the service.  We both were kind of happy to go and did not mind taking the couple hours out of our Sunday morning at all.  The service was nice (I guess) because I had to spend most of the time in the back of the church with Manny while he walked all around exploring.  Ava went to the Sunday school that takes place during the service which makes things so nice.  The teachers then bring the children into the service at the very end and then we headed over to the hall for the after church reception.  There are a lot of families that we know that attend this parish so it is already a welcoming comfortable feeling.  The kids played with a ton of other children and we ended up chatting for so long that we were one of the last to leave.

As we came home, my parents had just pulled up in the drive way and came to visit.  They always bring the dog and the kids love to see them as well as we do.  They love to play with the dog and we had some good conversations about our morning.

I had laid down on the couch while my dad and Jose watched a little exhibition game with the Red Sox and I totally fell asleep and took a nice little power nap.

My parents left soon after and Manny took a 3 hour nap that afternoon.  When he woke up we went for a bike ride down to the beach.  FREEDOM!  It was so great to be able to have Manny in the bike trailer (he is finally big enough) and Ava rode her bike with Jose pulling up the rear.  When we got to the beach, the kids played at the playground and it was a beautiful day.  We came home, had dinner, put the kids to bed, Jose made a nice fire and we watched "The Town".  Because of the time change, i was able to stay awake to see the whole movie and I really enjoyed it.  This made Jose very happy because we never get to see anything together for one reason or another and he loves movies so much.

All and all it was a really great day.  Amazing.  Because we are on break, it felt like we had a normal life doing a normal Sunday thing and that he wasn't tied to his job or had to rush home to grade papers or anything.  A nice break from the routine.

Looking forward to the nice weather and more bike rides.  I love taking it slow right now.  This is the last break before summer and once the students return it goes so fast.

Enjoy the good weather.

Such a nice time

I had such a nice time last night.  For a couple of weeks a friend of mine was planning a girls night out while her in-laws took her kids for the weekend.  I was looking forward to the night out.  After spending the day outside for a good portion of it with the kids to poop them out, I realized I had pooped myself out as well.  The wind was kind of strong yesterday and a bit chilly coming in off the water.  I came home and laid on the couch and fell asleep in the middle of the day.  It was great!  But, what ended up happening is that I just felt kind of lazy and tired the rest of the day.  I was starting to waiver going out since Jose made a nice fire and lit it when the phone rang and my friends were saying they were picking me up.  I quickly agreed because I know it is good for me to go and I would have a good time.  I pulled together an outfit, threw on some make up and they picked me up and off we went.

It was such a nice time laughing and gossiping and catching up.  I am just always amazed at how many friends I have made living here.  They are wonderful women.  Strong, inspiring, fun and good people.

I did not however, enjoy the time change this morning when the kids woke up.  UGH...I am just getting over it.

Now, off to head out for a nice bike ride with our family and officially start spring.

Love and peace and lots of flowers.
:)

Bummer...

So, I was all excited to use my free weeks pass at this new gym and got up and dressed today to go.  I got there, pass is fine for the week and I was going to go take a power class...the class is like a workout with barbells and weights.  I have taken this class a long time ago and loved it.  BUT...today the class was full and you have to sign up ahead of time.  Boo.  There was not another class happening at the same time so I got on the bike to warm up a bit.  The bike was cool because it was kind of like a video game.  The handle bars move and you see on a screen your handle bars moving as well.  Today, I biked through the redwood forest.  Ahhh...the smell of the trees.  It was so nice.  Actually, it was hard and the bike stops if you stop.  So, kind of a good workout.  BUT, since I was not planning on hopping on cardio machines, I did not have my headphones with me.  Because I was in a class workout mode, I could not do more than 20 minutes.  The good news is that i did do something instead of nothing.

It has been such a long time since I belonged to a gym.  I feel like a kid the first time you get yourself up for school and you don't know how to get ready or what to pack.  LOL...I have highlighted 7 classes I want to take this week and will plan on calling ahead to be sure that I have my space saved, bag packed, headphones ready to go.

Took the kids to the playground today.  It was so nice out.  Ava has been meeting friends that will be attending her new school at the playground a lot lately.  It is nice to meet new people.

I think we are going to try to take the kids outside one last time before dinner.  I am hoping Ava will agree to try her bike without training wheels.  :-)

Enjoy this weekend!

ZUMBA!

So, I have been taking kick-fit and loving it but I get bored easily.  I want to stay productive with working out and I want to continue to love it so I tried a new gym today that offered Zumba.  So, I went.  Because everyone knows everyone in this town, it did not surprise me to know the Zumba instructor.  She is super fit and has always been very athletic so it was no surprise to see her there.  She worked our butts off!!  I was very shocked and surprised that I was sweating 5 minutes into the class.  I LOVE sweating.  I know that sounds gross but I love seeing it drip off my body...it is kind of like the fat is melting off of me dripping away so it is very satisfying.

Tomorrow I may try the group power workout which is barbell training to music.  I have taken classes like that before and really enjoyed them.  The only thing that makes me nervous is that I have bursitis in my shoulder and am sort of in constant pain.  I have trouble putting weight on my shoulder so we shall see how it goes.  Cross your fingers.

Tonight our priest from our new parish is coming over to talk with us about Manny's christening...yes, we have not had the poor thing christened yet...my mother is about to pass out with fear and worry.  I hope I don't say anything offensive...I have not had luck with priests in the past but this guy seems really nice.  The new church we go to is episcopal and the faith fits us much better than my old one...sad to say.

The big school

Today we went to the kindergarten meeting at the school Ava will be going to next year.  Because she has been attending a private pre-school with a specific philosophy, I had reservations about the new school which is public.

The new school seems really nice and I knew about 60% of the parents in the room who attended todays meeting.  One of the teachers is Tabor related...she is married to the business director here at the school and she is the sweetest lady.  She has a lot of years of teaching experience and not only does she have a nice demeanor about her, she is very well versed in what the school provides and putting any fears I had at ease.

It will be nice to let go of the private school tuition.  Even though there is a fee for a full day of kindergarten (which is what Ava will be attending) it is a fraction of the cost of her school she goes to currently.

In two years Manny will be attending Ava's current school in the 3yr old program.  He already loves her school.  When we go to pick her up he makes his way around her classroom and the entire building.  He is always welcomed with open arms and invited in to explore.  He adores it and so do I.

So far, so good.

Oh, and I squeezed myself into my "Lucky" brand jeans today.  Who says muffin tops aren't attractive?  LOL

Spring Break!

Spring break is almost here!  The students leave on Thursday and do not return for about 2 1/2 weeks.  My poor husband really needs this break.  He is barely making it to the finish line this week.

A lot of the students here at school are able to go on great vacations during break.  We will be staying put and getting together with friends during the break.  Ava still has school (she gets February vacation and April vacation so our vacations conflict) and I am looking forward to some family time, de-cluttering our house and our lives!  I have also gotten a gift certificate for a weeks membership to a local fitness club just for women.  I am looking forward to using it during the break while Jose is home and able to stay with Manny.  The facilities look really nice to use and I am excited about taking some fitness classes.  I love to mix up my work outs because I get bored very easily.  Probably the ADD in me.

This week has been a fun unexpected work week.  Between yesterday and today I am doing 10 executive headshots for Titleist.  I would like to give a shout out to my portraiture teacher from NESOP so many years ago who gave me invaluable headshot posing tools that I still use to this day.  :-)  Thanks Arthur!!

I am looking forward to daylight savings!!!  I don't care if we lose the hour, I am so happy to gain the light at the end of the day.

So much to look forward to this spring:  my husband starting umpiring in the afternoons, having him be home more as well from school, my dad finishing his last rounds of radiation and chemo, Easter hosted at my house for the first time...(I am even going to make the home made cannolis!!...wish me luck) , running outside, being outside with Manny walking around and playing in the yard.  (And Avie too)

Happy day today!  Enjoy this sun...I hear it is taking a couple days off at the end of the week.  Boo.

all the noise, noise, noise!

Saturdays are not a day I normally look forward to being a wife of a boarding school teacher.  I am always envious of the couples who work the 9-5 jobs with weekends off and all the lounging, house tending, errand running things that they do.  Their lives seem so simple and easy.  For us, a Saturday can mean many different things.  1. Saturday classes (yes, someone thought this was a brilliant idea in boarding school...really drive the point home) 2. athletics, i.e.: games, and practices 3. On duty...stay in the dorm and make sure everyone is safe and accounted for.  4.  you name it...kid gets in trouble, parent calls to speak with teacher, kids knocking on our door...the list can go on...you get the point.

This weekend we are #1 and #3...Saturday classes and on duty.  Oh joy.  I woke up crabby.  It is sometimes very hard to give up any private family time that everyone else takes for granted....a quiet house, a run to the market, a little tv time.  I am home with the kids (just like every day of the week)...oh, and I am not complaining about my children, I am just saying it gets a little difficult when the reward is so little.  So, I decided to have some friends come over for a play date.  There is no house cleaning that takes place, or laundry and errands...there is no sending my husband to home depot to get some things for the house or any normal life things that happen.  Instead, we have a wonderful play date with some friends we have not been able to see much this year.  It was so nice to have them over and the kids were for the most part very well behaved.

The play date is over and now Ava has a birthday party to go to.  I take her to that and am again surrounded by kids very well behaved and they are all having a great time.

We come home and now Ava is cranky from too much sugar, manny is hungry and crying and we go to the dining hall for dinner with a million teenagers.  They are walking with us as we walk to the "DH", and they are being silly, too loud, unaware of anyone else....(like they are even aware of me and my family).   We go and stand in a long line to get our meal...I yell at Ava in line because she is dancing around and being a little rambunctious.  Manny cries through practically the whole dinner...who can blame him.  The lighting is bad in the dining hall and it makes me anxious.  We walk home in the dark and I am cold and unsatisfied with the meal I ate a little too much of.  I lock myself in the office and bask in the quiet as I write this and re-live the day that was good and bad and wonder how it could be both.

 I am changing gears now so I can go take photos at the semi-formal with kids who dance so inappropriately it embarrasses me.  I just want to close our door, get into my pj's, put my own kids to bed and have a glass of wine.   Oh, well...someday.  For now, I will deal with all the noise.

Kindergarten!!

Next week we go for the kindergarten meeting at Ava's new school next year.  I am trying to be brave.  If you don't already know, the school she attends now is the utopia of all schools and learning experiences.  I am not just being biased, it is true.  Kind of like the local cable show has a talk show and Oprah has a talk show.  Oprah is just that much better.  Same can be said for her school now.

Other good news...I ran a mile yesterday.  YAY me.  I am super proud.

Stay warm.