Normally, you would never hear me share this information online. I am getting it out though and letting it go. Today I was defeated by my scale. My spin/zumba/kickboxing classes in the past couple of weeks have done very little. I have a long road ahead of me and need to get all these 85+ lbs off me a little at a time. The scale today was no friend of mine. It is so frustrating to think that I have been heavy for so very long and that every little morsel of food I eat has to be accounted for, free of fat/sugar/salt/anything that gives it substance. Don't get me wrong, some of my favorite meals are healthy and I love eating my grilled chicken salads, but really? You mean to tell me if I put a sprinkle of cheese on my enormous salad that I will not lose weight? Ok, lets just make it a naked salad then right? I will just eat lettuce. C'mon.
So, you see...here is where i am...mad. the fact that I have to be so very careful and walk such a tightrope and work extra extra hard at this for little reward each week can be a very heavy load to bear. I need to just get it out and put it out there in the universe so I can be rid of the bad feelings and thoughts and let them go. I am getting back up, and staying the course.
I have incredible support from Jose. Just amazing. I cannot believe how much he loves and supports me. Let's me complain and helps me stay focused. He believes in me when I don't believe in myself. These past couple of years were very difficult and trying on our marriage. We were tested and at times I thought we would fail...he never did. Every day my eyes are opened just a little bit wider to how lucky I am and what a wonderful life I have with him.
I am getting back up. I thank you for letting me get out some ugly that was festering inside.
1 comment:
I think your doing GREAT. The scale says 120! I'd kill for that!!!
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